I has this side of me which was rowdy and just evil. I mean, it was weird. I was not Kasey the second I turned into her. I had called this side, Eliza.
Back in my teen years, I was kind of wild. Bart and I were tightly together and we were on tour with our band, Bloodless Wounds, and everything was fantastic. But there were sudden days in which I would just break down into serious depression. I had an emo side I didn't want to show. It was really noticable though, with my personallity. Bart had known since I had started these breakdowns.
Eliza, had started to come out beginning when I was about 16. It was pretty bad. Bart and I were attending an after party for our CD and it was all happy. But I wasn't feeling right. I had to tell Bart on how I felt but I just couldn't so I went into the girl's bathroom. I suddenly had these flashes like I was shape-shifting. My eyes turned this weird red color for a few seconds and changed back to normal and I had an urge to change into some darker clothes, including fishnets. I placed those fishnet arm warmers and this lace black corset. My hair was completely black, which I didn't understand at all. My hair was bright red then like it is now. I never understood the concept when it changed. My skin would turn a a light yellow color, like I was sick and my eyes were look like I haven't slept in ages.
I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed a drink, trying to find Bart. I would become the bitchiest thing ever. I wouldn't be me at all. Bart was scared of me.
Some things I remember with my Eliza side, is that I had friends Bart never knew about, like Jimmy. It was strange. Bart was still my number one priority.
But after my seventeenth birthday, my Eliza traumas started to take a turn for the worst. Because of it, I almost lost Bart. It caused a huge snag in our relationship.
One day, I had attacked people, For no apparent reason. I would strike people. I even....murdered my ex due to it. I was thrown in prison for a while and during that time, the Eliza feelings started to slowly go away. I was almost fully gone of it until I was released. It started to come back. It cae back stronger but less frequent. One of my friends was actually killed due to me. No wonder I was a depressed wreck. My life is just traumatizing to begin with. I lost my family when I was 16, just before I started to go on tour.
The true fact about Eliza was that she was an imaginary friend of mine when I was a little girl. She was my best friend. She was dark and interesting. I couldn't stand to be apart from her. Soon later, as I got older, she became more of a side of me than just an imaginary friend. She was more tough than me and had a bad attitude. I loved her.
Soon when I had Bart Jr, the feelings calmed down. She was still a part of me. Her rowdiness wasn't a part of me until I would get in a fight with Bart. Her depressive state took parts of me since then and they still do now. I have suicidal thoughts and I have cut myself. I haven't done in five years but I have done it. I'm not perfect. Her side hasn't helped that but...I still love her. She'll always be a part of me. She'll be my friend and a sister. It sounds strange but once you have a side like that, it never goes away and stays close to you. Always.